This is the first entry for what will be a weekly post called "Trashy Tabloid Tuesday Morning."  Reading trashy tabloids is a guilty pleasure and deep down we all enjoy making fun of dumb celebrities or just shaking our heads at whatever crazy story the tabloids happen to be "covering" that particular week.

So I thought I would start with an update on a story that sent the British tabloids insane a while back.  There are countless British rags that could qualify for the title of trashiest tabloid.  But this story sent them all scrambling around sinking to new lows.  A judge had to put an end to it all because it was obvious the children involved were being exploited from all sides, parents included.

So, the picture above is Alfie Patten, aged 12 at the time, and it was first reported he was the father of the baby pictured with him.  Long story short, Britain (and the world really) went insane and then a bunch of rumors came out that the mother, 15 years old, had slept with numerous other boys.  Being that Alfie looks like he is 8, a DNA test was done.  The results officially were just released on a judge's order:

Alfie, now 13, from Eastbourne, in East Sussex, told a national newspaper in February that he believed he had made his 15-year-old girlfriend pregnant.

But the tests have established another boy from Eastbourne, who is 15, as the father of Chantelle Stedman's baby.

The results of the DNA tests have been made public following a judge's ruling.

The judgement also reveals that Alfie was "extremely distressed" about the results of the test.

Pictures of Alfie, holding the baby he believed to be his newborn daughter, caused a furor when they were published in the Sun in February and renewed calls for better sex education in Britain.

This is just a lovely story all around isn't it?  So as Maury would say- Alfie, you are...NOT the father.